Stop Buying American

First and foremost: Sorry for the hiatus. Deal with it.

Secondly: Stop buying American -- I'm serious, and here's why.

Back in the day it used to matter if something was made in America. I distinctly remember all kinds of nicknacks, appliances, and even complete cars that were manufactured and assembled in these United States. When you went shopping you wanted to weed through the cheaply made plastic shit from Asia and the quality American made stuff to make sure you got your money's worth. Why? Two reasons: (1) your red, white, and blue brothers made that for you to enjoy it, and (2)it kept your money in America, which is a very simplified way of saying it won't create a trade deficit.

However, that was a thing of the past and we are in the here and now. And here and now most of our shit is made in China. To that end, China will continue to make cheap shit for us until the Great Chain of Economic Being is completely shattered, i.e. our politicians get their heads out of their asses, or China tries to attack us or vice versa.

THEREFORE, and try to stick with me because this shit is gonna get so mind blowingly easy you'll wire $350 to my PayPal account, you need to buy local. Here's an example: Name a product that is wholly manufactured and assembled in the United States of America. ... ? No, you're wrong. The only products completely manufactured and assembled in the USA are made by women with beards.

So what do we do about this, O Beaner Schnitzel? You buy local. Sure, you're still buying cheap Chinese shit, but now you are supporting your local stores. And by supporting your local stores you are paying the wages of the people that impact you the most -- the ones that live next door. Don't send away on the Intertubes for that LQQK NIB GIANT PURPLE DILDO LOT OF 12... Go to your friendly neighborhood dildo emporium and pick one up in person.

I've found that there is generally two reasons why people don't buy local.

1: They're too much of a fucking fat ass to get off their cellulite-ridden backside to walk down to the store and get it for themselves. This type of person sits on their derriere all day and collects Social Security and welfare benefits, but I digress...

2: They have this baseless idea that since they can get their dildos off the Internet at a cheaper price it is actually better for them to do so. Nothing makes me want to eat barbiturates as if they were Smarties than this argument. True, in the short term you will be saving yourself money if you purchase the dildo that's $3 cheaper online than down at your local emporium, but what about the long-term effects? You've kept that three dollars out of your economy, your tax system, and have taken money out of your neighbors' pay check.

Let's not forget to mention that you and all your fat fucking friends buy their dildos off the Internet, so it is likely that entire businesses have to close down due to lack of customers. Now that businesses have closed down, the State realizes that it's losing money because it is generating less revenue from its business taxes, so it raises your income and property taxes, and so on and so forth.

So in the end I hope you enjoy the three fucking dollars you saved on the cheap Chinese dildo you bought on the Interwebs... Congratulations, you're a fucking retard that should have bought locally.