I'm not sure if this is something that is just Midwest-specific, but I have noticed an incredible phenomenon lately.
As you all know, your trusted Beaner Schnitzel pays attention to everything. I don't need to have sex with the dead horse anymore. Or is it "beat the dead horse?" Either way my back is starting to hurt.
As I'm driving in my car I like to look at the other drivers. The stuff you'll see is amazing. You can find people screaming at their children, drinking alcohol, and having sex with dead horses, to name a few. However, I just realized within the past week that you see more hot chicks as the weather gets warmer.
What causes this? What makes the hot chicks come out in warm weather? On the contrary, what makes said hot chicks hermits in cold weather?
Since I got a 99 (out of a possible 100, I'm sure) on my IQ test I was able to figure out the answer as soon as I asked myself.
I'm a leg man. Tits; meh. Asses; they're okay at best. Nothing gets me more excited than a nice pair of thighs. A woman with a set of supple thighs makes me want to run to her and squeeze them as if they were the safety spot in a game of tag and the ugly girl with the overbite is on my heels.
What do hot chicks like to wear in warm weather? Skirts, mini of course. Skirts are the best article of clothing ever invented. They allow the woman to move freely throughout the day, and they allow the man to ogle and objectify her as a piece of meat, just like God intended.
Now I know there are some guys out there that like to say that they prefer booties to boobies, or vice versa. But the fact is that every man with a wiener that works can't deny the power of a thigh.
The women know this. How could they not? What is a woman's purpose in life? To please men (note the plural), obviously.
Can a woman wear a miniskirt in cold weather? Well, she would, if she knew what were good for her. However, there is this silly little thing called "frost bite" that stops women from baring too much skin in winter. They tell you, "No, I can't wear a miniskirt today! It's only seven degrees outside!" Bullshit.
I bet this "frost bite" malarkey was made up by a woman. I should look into that...
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4 comments:
I think some pictures would have complimented your observations well.
A good pair of legs doesn't look like a pair of carrots.
What's with the carrot shit, Haanz?
Dunno, it started on Dryad's blog, and I just ran with it.
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